the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize