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member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
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