not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
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we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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