census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize