I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wish they made helmets for livers.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Randomize