This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize