John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
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I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
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Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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