WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
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I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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