I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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