i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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