you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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