Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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