Texts From Last Night

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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Thanks for last night it was amazing as always

  (703): View more from Virginia

  What are you talking about

  (240): View more from Maryland

  You've got to be kidding me

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  (240): Thanks for last night it was amazing as always (703): What are you talking about (240): You've got to be kidding me http://tfl.nu/zj8e
  Replies (12) Good night (1429) Bad night (3959)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.

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  (317): Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother. http://tfl.nu/z8j5
  Replies (28) Good night (1590) Bad night (562) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag

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  (970): She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag http://tfl.nu/lpir
  Replies (10) Good night (920) Bad night (2549) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar

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  (248): it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar http://tfl.nu/5trr
  Replies (12) Good night (2954) Bad night (1931) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her

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  (716): Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her http://tfl.nu/fzg2
  Replies (5) Good night (696) Bad night (3556) Order T-Shirt
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.

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  (662): We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety. http://tfl.nu/psgs
  Replies (14) Good night (4449) Bad night (718) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.

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  (614): I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone. http://tfl.nu/g122
  Replies (24) Good night (8833) Bad night (902)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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  (734): we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas (810): I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick" http://tfl.nu/jn94
  Replies (9) Good night (3641) Bad night (1378)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.

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  (713): Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night. http://tfl.nu/wvak
  Replies (9) Good night (4142) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.

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  (504): Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated. http://tfl.nu/1xhy
  Replies (7) Good night (786) Bad night (1814) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?

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  (253): Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen? http://tfl.nu/9r46
  Replies (14) Good night (2527) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.

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  (508): All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears. http://tfl.nu/qmop
  Replies (15) Good night (557) Bad night (1131)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.

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  (417): I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer. http://tfl.nu/udvx
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (312) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.

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  (651): If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place. http://tfl.nu/osp0
  Replies (13) Good night (646) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.

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  (678): Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques. http://tfl.nu/wk2i
  Replies (7) Good night (916) Bad night (329) Order T-Shirt

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