"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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