very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
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