What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize