I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize