wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize