I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
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