Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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