I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
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I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
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Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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