party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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