some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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