i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
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I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
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he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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