I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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