just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize