I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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