yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize