My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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