his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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