New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
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we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
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Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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