Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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