I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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