I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
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I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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