Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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