Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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