Ambien. No doubt about it.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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