i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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