I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize