I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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