just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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