Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(334): View more from Alabama

Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.

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(334): Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me. http://tfl.nu/y7m9

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(951): View more from California

Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?

(949): View more from California

Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.

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(951): Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn? (949): Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER. http://tfl.nu/x4x0

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(240): View more from Maryland

Banned from zoo.

(301): View more from Maryland

Again?

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(240): Banned from zoo. (301): Again? http://tfl.nu/bv0w

Replies (44) Good night (16990) Bad night (1061)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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(702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter http://tfl.nu/pr4p

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(972): View more from Texas

85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.

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(972): 85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing. http://tfl.nu/910d

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(903): View more from Texas

One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.

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(903): One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down. http://tfl.nu/7y05

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.

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(919): I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over. http://tfl.nu/red4

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?

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(815): Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster? http://tfl.nu/pms2

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

So Monday we're lesbians.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

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(717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin

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(585): View more from New York

Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise

(770): View more from Georgia

Dude our life is a booze cruise

(585): View more from New York

But without boats...

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(585): Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise (770): Dude our life is a booze cruise (585): But without boats... http://tfl.nu/7gcu

Replies (2) Good night (1207) Bad night (303)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.

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(402): I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives. http://tfl.nu/3h74

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...

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(403): At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life... http://tfl.nu/7jwj

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(970): View more from Colorado

Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.

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(970): Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush. http://tfl.nu/v4yp

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(904): View more from Florida

Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

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(904): Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten http://tfl.nu/vxzl

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(612): View more from Minnesota

So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?

(319): View more from Iowa

will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?

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(612): So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me? (319): will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls? http://tfl.nu/9asz

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