I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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