finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize