Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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