Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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