If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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