i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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