I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
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You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
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