It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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