Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
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